A Soft Reset: How Saying “Yes” Took Me from Survival Mode to Sisterhood

I’ve been stuck in the survival loop more times than I care to admit. Working hard to protect my peace, only to hand it over in the name of “being responsible.” I’d built boundaries just to bulldoze through them—ignoring my body, silencing my spirit, shelving my joy, and convincing myself that rest would come after I earned it. After what? The burnout? The resentment?

It’s wild how quickly you can forget you’re the architect of your own joy when the world so freely hands you the blueprints to your sacrifice.

Earlier this year, I was fantasizing about taking a solo trip—just me, some good food, and a beach chair with no Slack notifications in sight. I had a milestone birthday on the horizon, and I was aching for something that felt like a reset. I opened 32 tabs searching for flights, dreamt up itineraries to Puerto Rico and the DR, then closed them all because… money. Timing. Obligations. You know how it goes.

And then, divine timing did what it does.

An internet homegirl slid into my DMs: “Would you be interested in attending a fully hosted retreat for Black women in Punta Cana?”

I was stunned. What kind of fairytale is that? I replied with, “How long do I have to think about this?” because my reality was giving “big stressed.” I wasn’t sure if it was wise. I consulted my usual council and their answer was unanimous: “You don’t owe them people your everything.”

So, I said yes. Yes, without an agenda. Yes, to joy. Yes, to being chosen without having to chase.

Going on a group trip with women you don’t know can be its own social experiment. You’ve heard the horror stories: cliques, drama, overlap. But this? This was something else. The difference? We were grown. Like, grown-grown. Most of us over 35. Every woman had her own room. No one was performing. Nobody was competing. And with the energy we all brought in? It was nothing but high vibration, low stakes, and real love.

Boss Babes Link, along with 3Experiences, created the kind of container that felt spiritually airtight. Every detail—from the group meditations with the luminous Tyomi Morgan to the abundance workshops with Celebrity Matchmaker Shae Primus—was intentional. We laughed. We cried. We ate good. We danced. Oh, we danced. On yachts in neon. In the pool in our blue fits. On the beach. While chocolate making. No matter the space, we showed up as our full selves. And the universe matched that energy.

And shoutout to my girl Urian: we I were both brought onto the trip similarly, knew no one, and yet our bond was instant. It reminded me that alignment shows up as people too. Folks who just get you. Homegirls for life.

What’s stuck with me the most, though, is what Shae said one morning: “Alignment comes from resting and at ease.”

Whew.

How many times have I tried to work my way into alignment? To perform my way into ease? To earn my softness?

This trip reminded me that I don’t have to do that anymore. None of us do. Being there wasn’t about proving my worth. It was about receiving. I didn’t have to hustle for this moment. It was mine because I was ready.

So as I return to my regular rhythm, I’m holding onto that. I choose to thrive. I’m choosing joy that doesn’t require a spreadsheet. I’m choosing the kind of sisterhood that sees you, holds you, and celebrates you—even if you’ve just met.

And maybe most importantly, I’m writing again. Not because I have to, but because I want to. Because my voice deserves softness too.